The thorn in my side…

There are times in life where you feel like you have given it your all , then other times you feel like you’re not enough. That’s when God steps in and says now use my strength .

I have realized there is an area in my life where I feel so wronged that I just can not be consistent . I so badly want to do good, but I am always caught off guard Every Single Time. I know any person can say … well don’t be caught off guard . I tell myself that’s the thing … When something is cleverly schemed and orchestrated it will not present itself when you are strong and ready for the battle . No , see the scheme is meant to be sneaky and catch you by surprise. The scheme sometimes reveals the rotten fruit that you didn’t realize was still there . Unfortunately when that fruit is exposed in a situation , once you puncture that rotted fruit it leaks everywhere and even though you know you want it to stop, its foul juices just spew and linger.

Then here comes regret and a completely devastating feeling that somehow all the progress you have made is now meaningless.

Here is the good news . God works all these weak times out for his good. You can’t take back what you do, say, feel or even yell ( 😉) however you can quickly shift your attention away from the other person involved, to yourself. I don’t know about anyone else, but I can come up with some pretty convincing arguments to God about how this other person is this and that , and so on …. They can even be true attributes of that person. You can even be right in your stance . But ultimately it boils down to your reaction and who you can change , and that’s you.
It doesn’t seem fair .. I know . Why do I have to do all the work on me and this person doesn’t ? The reason is this . This is your weakness, your thorn … this is an area where only God himself can heal and when that happens he will be completely glorified because let’s face it , you have tried everything you can.

In this area I am weak and at the end of my strength . So now I can only work on me , pray strategically , and know that Gods power is completed in my weakness.

It’s uncomfortable and even awkward to pray this . Trust me , I know . It’s Going against every part of my being and honestly annoyed attitude. But I pray and Thank God for this exposed fruit sent to humiliate me and make me believe I am a lost cause in this area. Just Turn the tables and thank God, because now it is brought to light and you can turn from it and actively choose to chip away at it ! Yeh the smell of the rotted fruit may linger for a little while, just remind yourself … you have thrown it out and don’t let it stop you from moving forward.

Trust God and do good . He’s not surprised by us!

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