Unfiltered freedom

As I woke up this morning , exhausted in pain with blisters (because I decided to wear shoes I knew would hurt , but honestly didn’t want to take the time to get my walking shoes from under the Rv.) I stumbled to the coffee pot believing that one cup of coffee was going to change all the world’s problems . As I waited patiently for that magic brew , each child piled into the kitchen area ordering what they wanted like the huddle house and I quickly bit my tongue and said “good morning, I have breakfast planned already.” As I continued to wait ,I heard Amaris wake up speaking in the cutest voice , “mommy, come get me pweaaasse.” Then I was like ok, it’s going to be a good day. I pick her up and she quickly gets down to play .As I started cooking , the gas would not ignite and as I look for a lighter , Nathan says “mom, hurry I need your help.” By this time I could feel this overwhelming feeling begin to fill my chest . We made it past a few obstacles this morning without getting angry , we got this, so I thought . 🤦‍♀️ I then get to Nathan who had baby poop on his clothes and Amaris sitting there with a blow out diaper . I took my breaths in and out and said “ok, I’ll get the baby, you start wiping your clothes and throw them in a plastic bag and jump in the shower .” He gets to the shower and I grab the top cabinet soap after finishing with Amaris and realized the shaking from the rv driving rattled it open and poured over the whole top cabinet . That’s when the annoyed complaining began. “Why can’t anyone pick up after themselves , why can’t anyone just know what to do without having to ask me for everything ?” It didn’t end there , I started mad cooking , if you don’t know what that is then you are a saint lol . As I was cooking and making plates , I sat down to eat on the couch because I didn’t even want to maneuver anything right now . I started thinking to myself , all the moms and great women I know are always complimented with things like , “she was always so patient, my mom never had to raise her voice , she was always filled with grace when she spoke ”and I just started feeling the guilt and condemnation hit . Yes , every morning doesn’t go this way , but man was I a jerk this morning .

Then I started thinking about even though we are so excited about this amazing opportunity living this dream of ours , we are still living . Just because you reach your dream doesn’t mean life is just emptied of trials and tribulations .

Being aggravated this morning actually gave me a chance to think .

I then realized I was bordering being impressive over being inspiring . I was becoming filtered over just being me .

I don’t want to make dreams seem unattainable or that when your dream happens , life is just so perfect with no annoyances .

I want you to see that anything is possible with God ! His mercy is new everyday ! His grace is sufficient ! God gives you the desires of your heart ! But in the midst of it all , if we didn’t have moments where we needed his grace like this morning , then we wouldn’t realize the magnitude of his Goodness or our need for a savior . If we didn’t have desires that seem impossible , then we would somehow be able to take full credit for his unmerited favor and hand in our lives . We wouldn’t need faith . If we were able to be perfect, patient, and holy on our own , we wouldn’t need the supernatural strength and power of the Holy Spirit.

Today , I choose purpose and inspiration over perfection and being impressive .

One day I may Share a beautiful landscape and then the next struggle to even get out of bed. Today I choose purpose over perfection for the 100th time .

Today I choose to see Jesus instead of myself or my mistakes .

In the midst of all of this .

I felt the Holy Spirit remind me of these truths ….

Rest in God’s promises for you , rest and stop striving for perfection and things that you believe will take away all of life’s problems . Strive for peace, hope , faith , and love . Seek the Kingdom first and all these things will be given . Things also being patience , good choices, and spiritual fruit ,not just earthly things .

God bless y’all ❤️

We were exhausted , look at those faces 😂

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