Steps, steps, steps

Hours before heading to Mesa Verde Cave dwellings , I was watching a video with our kids about the history of Colorado. The video gave in- depth information and instantly drew us to another video about the cave dwellings specifically . We decided to watch a guided tour as we were teeming with excitement for this newest and most anticipated adventure .

As we embarked on this video , I instantly realized what I expected, wasn’t reality . This wasn’t a nice safe walk and boom beautiful cave dwellings . This most photographed portion of the destination, the absolute cherry on top photograph in my mind ,involved climbing a ladder , did I mention cliff ? My heart began palpitating , I had visions of my children falling down and me missing a step causing a crowd of others getting hurt because I slipped . My palms started sweating and I began to unintentionally hold my breath. My kids could see my face and said what’s wrong ? I quickly changed my face to a smile and said “oh nothing , just watching the video.”

They said “ oh my gosh mom isn’t this going to be amazing “ I thought to myself “ no, it’s absolutely terrifying and I can’t breathe “ but I responded with “ absolutely” . Of course giving my children anxiety about it , wasn’t the wisest choice so I chose excitement .

As we continued watching the video the tour guide said , the only advice I can give you is “ don’t look up and don’t look down , focus on the steps you are on .” The crowd laughed and one lady replied “ well of course , if you look down you see how far you can fall, and if you look up you get anxious about how much higher you have to climb .”

You would think that’s when the revelation hit , but nope , my anxiety heightened and I realized that they too understood the fearfulness of climbing the ladder and needed to lighten the mood . The kids looked at me after the conversation ended between the people and they too looked at me like “ uh mom, are you going to let us do this ?” Mom wouldn’t let us do this if it wasn’t safe or we could get hurt,” replied Nathan .

I paused and said “honestly kids , everything we do involves risk. Getting in a car, walking on the street or even eating food . But we do it , because there is no enjoyment in life if you constantly think of the what if . Some risk takes little to no courage and some take lots of courage and then some takes courage that we absolutely can not formulate on our own without God .”

As I was speaking I was navigating to the cave dwellings website , still sweating with this undeniable pressure in my chest . I was locating ticket prices and age limits for everyone and an alert popped up. It said the treehouse version of the cave dwellings , the part of the attraction we all anticipated and longed for was closed for a need for structural inspection. I honestly had the biggest ,I mean biggest weight off my shoulders .

There would be no climbing the ladder .

The kids were a bit disappointed that we got rerouted again, but we ended up finding the coolest campground after and decided to stay 2 nights , which we never do . I truly believe the kids had more fun here then they would have on the big scary ladder .

Fast forward to being back on the road after a heated debate with my husband and as we both sat in silence . Then the actual revelation hit …..

“Steps , steps, steps .” That’s all I kept saying to my husband or anyone I meet , which I know gets annoying . But honestly that’s how I feel the Holy Spirit speak to me about my life . The lord knows my anxious thoughts and calms them with an assurance that each step has already been made , I just need to listen closely even when it doesn’t make sense and ultimately it will lead exactly where I am meant to be .

That’s when the remark of the tour guide in the video actually resonated with me . Now as my mind was focused on gaining strength and some sort of peace after being completely agitated , it all started coming in.

You see when I was anxious and not capturing my thoughts , I was unable to receive revelation. I was so focused on the fear .

You see , there are steps to every thing in life . Whether Worldly order or kingdom order . I have a choice. Should I listen to the gentle whisper that leads to life and fruit or listen to the world and lead to exhaustion and self promoting gain and pride .

Both choices have steps . The world’s steps are usually ones you see , the ones that always makes sense , a+b=c , ones you can explain the outcome . Kingdom steps usually take faith which means you do not see at first , ones that sometimes make no sense , and 1+ God = exceedingly abundantly more than you could have ever done on your own .

The key to your ultimate destination is simply what the man in the video said . Do not look up and do not look down , focus on the step you are on .

When you are climbing steps and are struggling to gain footing on one , do you immediately try to grasp above even though you aren’t firmly settled on the step you are on ? Listen , I wish I could say I’m not that stubborn , but I have tried this and yeh , moving forward when you aren’t firmly rooted or have learned the lesson of that step ,results in pain , being overworked unnecessarily or falling straight on your butt .

Today I’m not physically able to see my promise , today I am still wobbling on the current step but still believing , and today I am accepting and surrendering to the process that this step entails for my good . I am focusing on the current step that God has me on , without looking up the ladder with anxiety with how far I have to go , or looking down ( or back) with how far I could fall.

All my steps are placed , all your steps are placed . God is for you . The steps are perfectly laid out for you and your destiny . Do not be anxious . This is for his glory .His goodness and mercy follow you , so stand firm , keep listening , keep seeking , keep asking ….. what you seek you will find . What God has for you , is for you … God doesn’t run out of his goodness , God doesn’t forget , God is patient .

This is kingdom business , his ways are not ours, so rest easy …. Everything God has promised already exists , so let’s believe 🙂 ❤️

He is an exceedingly abundantly type of Daddy. He won’t settle for what we want , he goes above and beyond anything we can imagine .

Living witness

Hey y’all , I know I’ve been silent for a little bit. Every time I wanted to post I had the urging to wait . I question whether the cares of this world like being a homemaker, mommy, and wife started taking front seat . For now , I’ll say I believe I needed to be obedient and allow God to do some heart work after going through a trial that was so close to leaving me bitter . Now, after God’s amazing grace and favor , many changes have been made and the words are flowing faster than ever before. So here we go my beautiful family in Christ 😍. He will use this too 😍

The past 13 years of me and michael’s relationship there has been ups and downs . Good decisions and down right dumb decisions . There has been wisdom and there has been foolishness . We have both feasted and we have had famine . We have had amazing times and we have had tragedy . We have been unselfish and so selfish. We have either grown or gone backwards . You see , where we are now , finally living our dream , didn’t happen overnight . For some people it does , but for us it didn’t . Did we have some absolute unmerited favor to be where are now , yes ! Did we just “do” everything right to get here NO. However , we do have a Father in heaven who does not lie and even perfectly places every single step that we need to make it to the will he has for us . When we walk off course , he provides a way out. How radical ? You see ,

Every single positive and negative God has used for our good . We aren’t these super amazing powerful people who just came up with all this on our own. God gave us the desire to reach people a different way . You know what , even that we don’t do with our own strength . We haven’t been consistent either , We have at times even given up our dream to be what others would call “responsible ”. We got tired of criticism , so we conformed . But you know , being criticized and happy is so much better than being told to “ settle down” and be miserable because that’s just not how God made us . Not everyone is like us and that’s totally amazing because the world can’t function if everyone was exactly the same . That’s the beauty of it all. When we live the life we were called to live , the life we were knit for in Jesus, there is this peace . We all have Perfectly woven talents , gifts,and personalities that God knew this world needed in our DNA. It’s ok if your light may look different than someone else’s , your light may be sprinkled with glitter 😂, the substance is what is the same . Today , let’s Love our neighbor , even if your neighbor changes constantly because your family decided to live in an RV. ❤️ Remember today, God’s goodness isn’t calculated by our performance or our works . Believe today in the “Good News” of the gospel and the finished work of Jesus Christ on the cross and see supernatural provision in your life . Blessings and favor over your family today 🙂

“We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God: those who are called according to His purpose.”
‭‭Romans‬ ‭8:28‬ ‭

Witnesses of God’s unmerited favor and provision

Before you Sleep, smile at me

You toss and turn , snuggle deep

My eyes lock on , you pretend to sleep

You find comfort , the perfect place

My mind is at peace, when I see your face

You open your eyes , I am here

My heart is proud , you want me near

You doze in and out , I could cry

My pride for you , I can’t deny

You look up , you investigate for a while

Then as you drift , I see a smile

That smile is a gift , before you rest

My love for you , I give my best

You drift to sleep, you breathe so still

My mind tries guilt , against my will

You are my baby , you grow so fast

My joy for you , will always last

Now mommy’s turn , I am in and out

My heart so full, I could shout

I close my eyes , lay down my head

Guilt is gone , I give grace instead

I keep real still, so you will not wake

I love being mommy , I also love a little break

Then as I drift off , as still as can be

I hear a whisper ,beloved , will you smile at me?

This poem is inspired by the smiles of my children before they sleep. The joy and love I feel when they take a moment for that one last smile . It reminds me that our Daddy in heaven also loves for us to just be comforted by his presence , to look his way and smile with perfect peace and confidence in Him.

Like a child

“Truly I say to you, unless you will be converted and become like children, you will not enter the Kingdom of Heaven.” Matthew 18:3

You know the days where your kids have seemingly lost their minds and you question your sanity ? You know on those days that one child in particular will try you over and over and just forget all the rules . Well this was the exact scenario a few days ago with my second to youngest daughter Jayden.

If anyone knows Jayden , you know she is my free spirited , soft hearted, and super hilarious child . I am pretty sure broadway or some sort of acting is in her future ok. She is our child that we are able to look at in a certain way and she will stop doing whatever it is that is wrong . But this day in particular just wasn’t happening .

So of course , I lose it . I “tried” to be calm , I “tried” to let it not build up . But yeh, I failed .Honestly ,what she was doing wasn’t horrific, it was just all throughout the day little things that were clearly defiant and just aggravating ( for lack of better words).Of course I let guilt set in and I came to her and assured her that getting correction was not wrong; however , the way I corrected was.

I probably looked like a toddler throwing a tantrum honestly haha ( it’s funny now, but I felt horrible). So we had our talk and everything calmed down probably because we assured each other that everything was settled.

I know it sounds bad , but I was like , yeh I feel bad how I reacted , but at least now she’s listening ( don’t hate me , I am human too) . As soon as that thought crossed my mind , Jayden asked me “ mom, can I have some ice cream and then go to the trail to ride scooters. “

If y’all could see my face . I thought to myself , (this is going to sound bad) , but I thought …. “did she really just ask for dessert annnnnd going to a trail to ride her scooter when we finally just had some peace between each other . “ Thank God I kept that thought to myself , even though my face may have talked for me . If I would have spoken too quickly I would have missed what the Holy Spirit was showing me in that moment .

You see , even though we said sorry and made things right and I DID forgive her , I was still shocked that she just so openly asked for not one but two things. It was already getting late , I’m already exhausted and it was getting to the point of settling down , I mean completely inopportune timing . I didn’t even have time to really just come to terms with my own attitude and forgive myself fully and apparently not fully forgetting what she had done ( I’m not God).

Heck, I was still analyzing what part of her childhood memories I messed up or the guilt of possibly breaking her spirit haha. ( only funny now).

How could my child even feel comfortable coming to me after a day full of agitation.

That’s when the revelation hit .

Many times in life I would hide my needs , wants, desires, even failures from God because let’s face it , I wasn’t where I thought I should be . People would say , “ come as you are” and when I did I was the object of judgement and gossip. Like, listen I didn’t choose my superpower at the time to be crazy, depressed, and needy ok. I brought my demons and the people fled . So , I thought if church people who aren’t perfect like God are ashamed of me , how much more will My perfect Father be .

Ouch , yeh I was super wrong and my belief system was influenced by a lot of outward and religious spirits ( including me , so cringe).

What the Holy Spirit was showing me through Jayden was boldness , faith in her mother’s love and ability to meet her demands despite her outward actions . You see , God doesn’t want us to come boldly to the throne room of Grace because we are perfect and never mess up on our own . He wants for us to come boldly and have confidence in his grace and in his position as our Abba ( daddy) in heaven , so that he can meet the needs. We come boldly because he is well pleased with Jesus and he sees Jesus , so whew. Whether it be healing, financial, spiritual, unanswered questions , behavior, whatever it is we need to come boldly.

See unlike God I have limitations in my flesh , I am unable to forget when my daughter just sinned so sometimes it lingers , Even though I want to give her all she asks , sometimes that something extra is conditional.

With God we are saved by grace , nothing we did, it is a gift. He is not shocked or surprised when we come to him after acting foolish , asking bold requests . He is constant in our relationship, he is forgiving , he wipes the slate clean constantly . You see he isn’t limited in his sight by our flesh , because it’s been covered in Jesus blood . He sees Jesus .

So rest easy friends and go boldly to the throne room of grace fully forgiven asking and making requests know to our Father.

He isn’t going to look at you like I did my daughter shocked at how could so many requests be made after a day of aggravation. No, he is pleased that we trust and believe that he made a way for us to be this close. The good news is we don’t have to be disntant from God’s power like before Jesus sacrificed his life and torn the veil. Now we are seated near at his right hand basking in his presence , not hindered by our behavior . We are only hindered by our unbelief of Jesus sacrifice and unbelief of who we are in Him.

I pray today that you come boldly to our Father and make all requests known, tell him where you are lacking in any area. Draw closer to Him and bask in his presence . Pray for the Holy Spirit to lead you to the throne room of grace and his powerful presence . Then you will see that despite your behavior or outward issues , your Daddy is waiting for you to come to him so he can show you a way out .

I pray that you no longer depend on your own ability to be righteous or holy but, Jesus’ ability to be righteous and Holy. I pray that you see yourself the way God does and when you accept that love , you will start seeing others in that way as well. In Jesus name , amen

Will we have weak days , will we have days where we don’t “feel” spiritual … yes, but even though we are not constant , God is . His promises are yes and amen, unconditionally and with all sincerity .

There is not a better confidant, friend,and helper than the spirit of God . Only he can give perfect direction and action plans . So come boldly brothers and sisters, he’s waiting with excitement .

So lord , I choose to come To you as my child comes to me . Boldly and knowing that she is forgiven. Knowing I want what is best for her and want to see her succeed . Knowing I want to help her solve her issues . Knowing I want to see her well and pursuing the purpose she was made for . Knowing despite her mistakes I will help every way I can.

Remember ….

We are not Perfect alone, so let’s rest and rely on the ONE who is . God ❤️ …People , even me , can’t give you perfect relationship. Only HIM .

Blessings and favor over each of you amen !

This is for you too …

So I felt led to a different kind of post today… so I pray the Holy spirit opens your minds and reveals to you truth that points straight to how amazing and wonderful Jesus is.

When you fall from Grace , you are no longer believing that you are saved by faith through Jesus, But of yourselves. You condemn yourself . You put heavy burdens, loads, and morality on yourself. When in reality, our might and strength will never be enough.

See Jesus.. “Yeshua” literally means Salvation. So when we are putting on the mind of Christ we are putting on the helmet of Yeshua . Let’s now see why this is soooooo important to get to first, when we come to know the Lord. When a Roman soldier puts on armor they use a helmet to protect their brain. According to the , “The brain is an amazing three-pound organ that controls all functions of the body, interprets information from the outside world, and embodies the essence of the mind and soul. … The brain controls our thoughts, memory and speech, movement of the arms and legs, and the function of many organs within our body.” ( More in depth writing is coming on this later on, I am just skimming the surface on this revelation the Holy spirit gave to me) So Family, the helmet of salvation in the armor of God is literally the helmet of Yeshua. All these functions are so , so important to our daily lives and destiny. It effects how we pray, what we pray , how we approach God, who we believe God to be… I mean. I could go on and on. But that’s on another blog. Now you see why this is so important?

You know when you start studying the Word of God with your mind of Christ on , oh how the story changes. You are no longer scared to read the bible or just waiting for more Do’s and don’ts. It’s no longer a book where you go see what others are doing wrong or how self righteous you are.Oh no, it becomes one of the greatest mysteries revealed to you in such an amazing way because you are being led by the spirit. You aren’t reading a story that the wisest or most knowledgeable could ever truly understand on their own , it’s like your own secret message leading to the Treasures of heaven . It is not understood with human intellect but meticulously revealed in many different ways in many different seasons . IT is discerned with a spirit that puts even the first the same as the last, the rich and the poor and even the slowest of learners and fastest of learners on the same playing field. You feel like you are going down a never ending hunt sometimes, but a life changing one. You get one train of thought and it leads to another and it becomes an all out investigation . You know one of those investigations you do after watching a court case and just need evidence for some sort of closure. You know that evidence you look for when you search your whole heart mind and strength until late hours of the night clicking article after article. Just to know the truth .  The cool thing about Having the Holy spirit as a friend and God as a good good father who can never lie, you will always, I mean always find what you are seeking at the right time . You are not left confused and dissatisfied, its always a search that ends in peace or action for the next step. It’s like endless awe and wonder. Now there is times, where you feel kind of bored and think, ummm I know this scripture. Only for a revelation of the meaning to truly hit a week later, who knows, maybe while vacuuming the floor.

I wanted to share this because as I reveal what is  revealed to me through revelation , I want you to realize that I am a homemaker who is beloved by God not through my actions but because of Jesus’ finished work on the cross. I mean I am pretty low on the social totem poll to the world , lets face it, haha . I mean , but really guys a homemaker given wisdom supernaturally used by a powerful God that doesn’t need me, but chooses to use me , to spread the Good Good news. So it’s not of myself or human wisdom. I just want to see lives transformed and people complete in Him. I just want everything that comes out of my mouth or typed through my fingers on a keyboard to point to Jesus. I honestly go back and read what is written and I am like, who wrote that? I can’t humanly explain how I come to these conclusions or revelations on my own, because I don’t. It is always a scripture or bible story that didn’t make sense at the time and BAM it hits. Sometimes it’s just deeper meaning to something I didn’t previously know fully. Not anything biblically new , but like in depth truth of God’s written word, that’s new to me. My prayer is that through sharing my revelations, it will spark your spirit to seek revelation for yourselves as well. It is the most satisfying and awe inspiring experience. To know that God will use all means to help me understand, and to reveal truths to me that I need, exactly when I need it, mostly through my children.

The only thing I can give advice about when it comes to revelations is truly just taking a moment to be a fly on the wall so to speak throughout your day. To be present but yet taken back and just observe. Oh, just take a moment from the chaos and distraction and just look and see what can only be seen , when you truly look. To pray and ask for revelation is a huge part for sure also. Sometimes, The silly smiles of my children, the tiny mannerisms , and even just the conversation that they have with each other reveals God’s truths. Sometimes it’s a wake up call when I hear my children being unkind to each other. Especially when I hear things I know is me or my husband. I used to get so down and condemn myself, but now I just say Holy spirit lead me to a better way. As you lead me , they will follow. The pressure of trying to figure it all out isn’t on me alone, I can make the choices but only through knowing I am loved, can I choose a more loving approach. Knowing you are loved eases anxieties and it results in less agitation. Our Abba wants us to succeed in our marriages, in our parenting, and all relationships that we are meant to be a part of. Sweet friend, grace is there to take the burden off you , you can get up again , you can try again, you can keep moving forward without condemnation. You can come boldy come to the Father asking all sorts of questions and even talking about things you struggle with , and asking advice.

Yeh you may need to ask your kids for forgiveness or your spouse, but you can’t expect to learn without mistakes. But the Good news is , your mistakes don’t stack against you , it’s an endless washing of the blood of the lamb over you every single day. Rest easy do not be overcome with anxiety and thoughts of your mistakes, you are loved , you are holy , you are righteous and you are moving forward. Do not give up.

When we Are saved we are legit going through a brain transplant. Putting away the former things, like literally born again. If you are a newborn you do not have memories, so literally we must do away with all past things ,a new slate. Allow the Holy Spirit to fill your mind with the thoughts of Jesus. Those thoughts about whatever is kind what ever is good, How faithful our heavenly father is, being kingdom minded and knowing we are righteous as he is righteous because of the finished work of the cross. Then keeping our eyes on Jesus and being in awe will result in changed behavior supernaturally. Do we make a choice , yes.. However, when we keep our eyes on Jesus , we walk in the spirit and love, then every other commandment is fulfilled. Like, Literally our Father set us up to succeed. We just have to put away our fleshly desire to have our hand in places that aren’t ours to mess with so we can take some sort of credit. We must walk by faith. Remind yourself, we are without spot or blemish in the eyes of the father. Yes, the world and even you remember when you messed up before and when you presently mess up . But rest easy, God does not. Have you ever found yourself digging a deeper hole of sin and depression when you constantly think about what you do wrong and that you can never do right.

Try this, know that you are so loved by God , ask him yourself to reveal to you how much you are loved. Open your bible through the eyes of grace and let the forgiveness and love pour all over you. Watch sin and addiction break off your life, Be free child of God ! Do not be bonded by the yolk of slavery. We are now sons and daughters to the most high God.

I am reminded of the Prodigal son, I ask that you take a moment to read Luke 15:11–32 and ask the Holy spirit to reveal to you what is true about how Our daddy delights in us when we come back to him.

Then as you are reminded who you are in Christ, keep asking questions , keep seeking , I promise no other relationship in your life will compare. Don’t get me wrong I love my family , ya’ll know this, but there isn’t a person or thing on this earth that can ever sustain or fulfill the deep places like Jesus. This is not of myself or that I am just this super wise or bold person on my own. Any courage or wisdom, or knowledge of the spirit is a gift from the spirit. So yeh, No boasting , no accolade or achievement on my part. My need for something real , whether that makes me weak or not, was more important than staying empty. I heard someone say, oh christians just are too weak to handle this world, so they need a God to lean on. Well, guilty, I am weak , but he is strong. I can’t do this life or even one ounce of my past without the saving grace , acceptance and Love of the Father. I am not ashamed that I need Jesus to walk in this life and neither should you.

I pray for bondage to be broken , anyone held back from their destiny to start seeking who they are in Christ, I pray for those who are feeling the heaviness of this life to be renewed in Jesus name. I pray for children of God to use your helper the holy spirit, to let him lead you . If Jesus could trust the Holy spirit to raise him from the dead, I can trust him too. I love ya’ll ! My heart just wants for you all to find this freedom , to walk in your spiritual gifts, to walk in health and full abundant life. To seek our Father’s face without being scared or condemned. God loves you so very much. Remember, As Jesus is so are we!

A visual that the Holy spirit showed me a few days ago , really brought peace to my spirit. It was me sitting next to my Abba on the right hand of the throne and anytime evil was coming against me, I rested in Victory with my Father and he sent an angel out without a flinch before it could reach me. I had this assurance that I am so loved, I am protected, I am victorious because of My father. I pray this too helps you see just how close and How intimate of a relationship God wants with you too.

Peace and many blessings! In Jesus Name , amen !

You make me Confident

     One morning Nathan came into the room and said,” Mom, I have not been able to use the video editor for a long time, can I pleeeease use it.” I said “well, where’s my laptop?”  ( at that point I forgot Michael fixed Nathan’s computer) and he said, “it’s also on my computer” Before I could say yes, he said, “no, I want to use your laptop so I know you are watching me , because when you do I feel more confident.” My heart melted and this overwhelming heaviness filled my chest, like that, must catch my breath because it just overwhelmed me with  such JOY. I immediately thought, “WOW, even though lately he feels as if we have been unfair as parents, and has truly been verbal about it, he still desires for me to watch him do what he truly loves. He finds confidence, oh that word I have lacked all my life, he grows confident when I am watching him.

     That means so much to me because as a parent there are times where you just do not feel like you are getting anything right. As my children grow, my now not so little Nathan is our first. You know the oldest, the one we transition to every new stage of life with first. The one who lives up to the meaning of his name, leader. I think of how sometimes when we take lead in any area of our life, it can seem scary. It does not help that sometimes in life, you do not really realize mistakes until you have already made them, especially in parenting. Despite all the times of when I doubt myself, this one moment of just trust from my son, this longing for my presence, shut up all the voices in my head. Little did he know that he too made me confident.

     You know in our world right now, it feels as if you can only truly get your point across, be seen for your talents or even mean anything until the product is finished. Oh, the pressure this society gives on performance. Nathan taught me that the process can be just as beautiful and helpful as the finished product.

     I really am just blown away that my child has found something I have lacked my whole life, and that is the confidence to mess up and mess up in front others , knowing that I won’t always get it perfect and that it’s ok. Gosh, I learn so much from these beautiful babies and I can never describe the gratitude. Do we have hard days and just nights where I legit come to the end of myself? Those nights I just want to ball up and ask why God would choose me to be the mother of these amazing children. It’s in those moments, where his grace falls over me and reminds me, that he will guide every step, that as much as I love my children, he loves them more.

                                                  That is when the revelation hit.

    This is how confident we should feel when we are walking into the calling God has given us. You know that specific area he has gifted you for his glory. It may not be your job right now, because let us face it, how on earth will this gift supply what we need right now? Your gift will make room for you and He will provide.The lord showed me through my child that all I need is to stay in his presence, be confident in his presence and want him to watch every step of the way. To be confident that he is rooting us on and has eyes of grace for any missteps. To know as surely as I want for my child to succeed, our Abba wants us to succeed as well. He set us up for victory, not a failure. He gently whispers I am for you; I am for you; you have everything you need in me.

    Through the eyes of Grace, we see that he wants to watch, lead, guide, calm us when we get frustrated because we cannot figure it out on our own. Oh, but when you allow his presence to be there, you will not mess everything up, just look up and he will redirect you to the solution.

      You see, when Nathan is on the laptop editing, he always starts off so excited! He is so glad I allowed him to work on his talent for editing videos. Oh, when he starts, he is just so gung-ho! He Is just trying new things, clicking on everything, and just ahh zealous. He quickly looks,” mom, mom, Look, LOOK, watch me.” As time goes by, he becomes frustrated, he gets to a point where he faces an obstacle, because there is a new skill or lesson to be learned. In this moment, when an obstacle arises , if he was in any way scared of judgment, then this would be a time he would give up. Instead he knows that I want him to succeed, not suffer harshly. He knows that I want him to find out the solution.

    He then asks me quickly, “mom, where do I find the answer to this?” I do not always give an outright answer to my children, But I always provide a way for them to find it.  All you must do is ask knowing that I want the best for you, so be confident. All he must do is realize I am just watching in complete love and just waiting for him to turn to me with every question. I have been there, you start something, and along the way there is more learning to do. I can look at him with eyes of Grace because there is no mess up or wrong turn that he can take, that will lead me to judge him , but to guide him and comfort him knowing I am for him.

    The foundation is necessary, the basic understanding is necessary, the tasks that require help is necessary in this life. Coming to the end of ourselves is necessary and oh so beautiful when the Father’s presence brings you confidence and not condemnation and guilt.

      Oh the joy our Abba (Daddy) must feel when we truly understand how much he is for us. How much we see ourselves as beloved when we put on our mind of Christ. You see when I think of what would Jesus mind and thoughts  consist of , I can go to scripture and see that he knows he is the beloved who his father is well pleased, when Lazarus died he already knew his Father already gave him everything he asked for ( but it was for us, that he spoke), you see he knows where he is placed at, at the right hand of the father , fully equipped for everything the Father sends him to do. He is confident that any direction the Father sends him, that he will know the way has already been perfectly orchestrated.

     So believers, to all the beloveds whom he is well pleased, ask your Heavenly Father to watch you, so you will be confident. When you are walking in life, do not wait, ask freely and he will provide the solution. Oh! enter the throne room of his GRACE, confident that he is wanting to see you succeed. Oh, how righteous we are by faith. Even better If you believe you lack faith, that too is not of your own ability. The scripture says that Jesus is the Author and finisher of our faith. Oh that too, Grace and faith has already been finished at the cross. So put on that mind of Christ and rest in the finished work of your faith. Fruitful works will follow without the yolk of slavery. It is a by product of our understanding of the Father’s love. Believe in his love, grace and goodness and every addiction, bad habit, bad fruit will supernaturally fall way. In our Father, listen, in our Father we are complete because of Jesus.

    Put away the works in vain, oh the Martha’s in this time, rest like Mary and what you receive can never be taken.

    Oh my sweet family in Christ, I have GOOD NEWS, Oh the greatest News of all. We do not need to feel anxious or pressured when we ask our Daddy to be a part of our lives. You are not the author and finisher of your faith, you are not the one with the power of your own might to supernaturally transform. When you come to the father, as an infant drink of the milk, get to know your Daddy and he will teach you who you are. Would you send an infant out to work immediately, oh but an infant doesn’t even know what the works are, step back and let the Holy spirit work Believers. Let all works be fruitful by the Holy Spirit. Let the infant know that  in order for the works to have power it is not of themselves. Let those righteous deeds be done with JOY and hope. Put away the grumbling and complaining. They need to know they are so loved, righteous and complete in Christ. Then the byproduct of His love and acceptance is fruitful works.  Rest easy and know that God is God. Be free my sisters and brothers in Christ, let the Holy spirit lead and great revival will come.  He Is the father full of UNMERITED favor and grace, the law already brought us to the end of ourselves our inability to be righteous on our own, and oh How sweet is it that Jesus came to fulfill it because on our own it is impossible. Oh that we may have a renewed relationship with our Heavenly Father. If that alone was not enough, Our Daddy loves us so much , he sent a helper ( the Holy Spirit) to gently remind us, to comfort us , to lead us down the roads that are the best for us, to give us power our friend who is gentle and oh so mighty. The one who whispers and brings down a might rushing wind. The one who whispers you are loved and Brings Our savor back from the dead. You see our daddy sent us the best equipment to see us succeed , be transformed by the renewing of your minds, be filled with the spirit all you have to do is ask and be still in him and listen for the steps, the direction . Go into the secret place and let him Guide you.

    For those who do not know have a personal relationship with Jesus,  it’s ok that this will sound like straight foolishness. But if you to want to experience a love like this and walk into your destiny, in scripture we are told to repent, ( turn way/ change our minds) about sin , Believe in the son Jesus and this finished work at the cross and be saved. Then you will be filled with your helper the holy spirit to guide. Then as an infant, immediately Drink of the spiritual milk of his word, just like a baby and rest on the Father’s chest for that skin to skin contact and let him love you and carry you like an infant and speak to you from his word. If you find yourself not understanding, ask for wisdom and it will be given. Put off all the former things you perceived to know about the Lord and who YOU used to be and let our Father reveal himself and show you for himself who He and who you are now. From there my friend, you will go through stages of growth and understanding, but never forget that Just as quickly as my son could turn around ask for help and direction or even to show me praise, Our father will be there for you to.

     Come, whether saved or unsaved. Put off the Former things, your Daddy wants to see you succeed. So, invite him, so you too…

Can be Confident.

John 3:16

16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

“and the is Salvation in no one else; for there is no other name under heaven that has been given among men by which we must be saved .” Acts 4:12

he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit” Titus 3:5

 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— 
not by works, so that no one can boast.” Ephesians 2:8-9

At the Home of Martha and Mary

38 As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. 39 She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. 40 But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”

41 “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, 42 but few things are needed—or indeed only one.[a] Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” luke 10:38-42


John 1:14-17 (AMP) And the Word (Christ) became flesh, and lived among us; and we [actually] saw His glory, glory as belongs to the [One and] only begotten Son of the Father, [the Son who is truly unique, the only One of His kind, who is] full of grace and truth (absolutely free of deception). John testified [repeatedly] about Him and has cried out [testifying officially for the record, with validity and relevance], “This was He of whom I said, ‘He who comes after me has a higher rank than I and has priority over me, for He existed before me.’” For out of His fullness [the superabundance of His grace and truth] we have all received grace upon grace [spiritual blessing upon spiritual blessing, favor upon favor, and gift heaped upon gift]. For the Law was given through Moses, but grace [the unearned, undeserved favor of God] and truth came through Jesus Christ.

Romans 5:15-17 But the free gift is not like the offense. For if by the one man’s offense many died, much more the grace of God and the gift by the grace of the one Man, Jesus Christ, abounded to many. And the gift is not like that which came through the one who sinned. For the judgment which came from one offense resulted in condemnation, but the free gift which came from many offenses resulted in justification. For if by the one man’s offense death reigned through the one, much more those who receive abundance of grace and of the gift of righteousness will reign in life through the One, Jesus Christ.

Romans 6:14-16 For sin shall not have dominion over you, for you are not under law but under grace. What then? Shall we sin because we are not under law but under grace? Certainly not! Do you not know that to whom you present yourselves slaves to obey, you are that one’s slaves whom you obey, whether of sin leading to death, or of obedience leading to righteousness?

Come back into his Grace

Galatians 5:4 You have become estranged from Christ, you who attempt to be justified by law; you have fallen from grace.

What Does James 2:26 Mean by “Faith without Works is Dead?”

“In James chapter 2, James writes that “as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without deeds is dead.” Here James affirms that deeds (or actions) are the byproduct of a living faith. Works do not justify us or make us righteous before God, nor are they the means to salvation. Rather, our deeds are the fruit that grows from one who is obedient to God’s commands and transformed by His grace.” Joel Ryan
Together we will be confident in Christ, In Jesus Name , Amen

0% chance

Yesterday was a cool and windy day. We saw a bit of snow flurries and was of course excited! (even though it was a small deal to people around here who are used to it, it was a big deal to us ) But here’s the thing .

Every news station station forecasted a 0%chance of snow . It wasn’t a 20% or 30% chance . It was flat out 0%. When I see that number , it means absolutely no chance . Literally NO chance . No expectation! So even flurries is more than 0% chance . Right ?

Ok, I think I got that point across . So now …

Fast forward to later that night. I was on the phone with my parents , laying on the couch with my husband and our youngest child , when suddenly I heard this loud wind ! 💨 Not only did I hear this wind , it also pierced through the drafty window sending a chill down my leg . I thought to myself , oh it’s been windy all day , just more of the same. You know , be “logical”, even though deep deep down I am like , what if it’s snow? Well, A few seconds later I heard small pitter patter on the window . Then I thought ,oh my gosh maybe it IS snow foreal! Then I said to myself no, it’s just leaves and continued on with the conversation with my parents on the phone.

After all 0% means no chance.

Well , then again I felt another blast of air and said , hold on let me check outside . I finally decided to look out the window . My eyes got wide and jaw dropped ! IT’S SNOWING ! It’s SNOWING ! It wasn’t only snowing , It was FIERCELY snowing and accumulating .

I immediately said mom and dad , it’s snowing! You know since they didn’t hear me scream it already .I honestly forgot the conversation we were having and looked over to my husband said “Michael ! look it’s snowing .”

Unfortunately for them .It didn’t stop there .

I opened the blinds and kept telling michael “look , look! ” I then told my parents that I was switching to video chat, so they could see why I was so excited. Oh the snow fell so beautifully as if it were dancing around like glitter in front of the porch light . It caught my full attention.

You see , Everything I was distracted by, was put on hold , I was in such awe ( I love snow) and I kept saying “look look look ! “

That’s when the revelation hit ….

I thought of how many times in my life have I hoped for something , prayed for something , and constantly watched for it, only to become logical by the fear of sounding ridiculous. How many times have I been so hopeful only to be told there is NO chance ? How many times have I missed the signs of favorable conditions and the beautiful reminders of what was promised to me ( like those beautiful flurries throughout the day), only to be distracted by something else going on .How many times did I lose excitement and hope because people around me wasn’t excited.

Honestly too many times to count .

Today I was reminded …How this world judges whether or not something is possible , is by things we can see . Today I was reminded… that being told that I am not the right fit by the world’s standards , doesn’t mean that I am not the perfect fit for God’s assignment.

To the world the wayward son or daughter has a 0% chance of being trusted or used in this society.

To the world , the stay at home mom doesn’t have enough connections or intellect to think for herself or let alone be something bigger than herself.

To the world, a man who has consistently made poor decisions , will never be respectable or trustworthy .

To the world , the homeless drug addict , will never be anything more than one step away from a relapse .

To the world, the color of your skin ,has some sort of measurement of how trustworthy or capable you are .

To the world , the church member who doesn’t know the lingo , who doesn’t have a clique or family ties , will never make it anywhere in the church ministry.

Oh but God has shown time and time again, he doesn’t choose by world’s standards or opinions . He takes the world’s 0% chances and turns them into a mighty wind , a storm that rushes in and grabs the attention of everyone who didn’t believe.

It’s isn’t about what is forecasted by worldly gauges or assessments . It is about the unseen favorable conditions, and it has nothing to do with the outside , it is about what only He sees on the inside .

I heard recently , that no one understands what is happening when it’s happening.

I don’t understand everything right now, I don’t know how everything will turn out , but I do know this . My 0% chance and your 0% chance ,with Christ, has endless possibility .

Don’t give up hope , don’t miss out on the tiny reminders , don’t let distractions and blinders keep you from seeing everything you prayed for and everything God has called you to do unfolding right before your eyes .

This is the season of putting away your distractions, the world’s expectations, and faulty gauges. This is the season where your strongholds become weak ! This is the season of things happening that YOU don’t even see happening. This is the season that you finally stop doubting in this area and you will peek out of those blinds and see this mighty storm bringing what you believed could be true . Oh this season you will be in awe , you will shout look , look, look … look what the lord has done !

This season I have decided ….

I won’t take my chances , I’ll take my promise!

“Rebuilder”… I am willing to be well.

If someone asked if they could tear down your house right now , would you let them ? No! right ?

But ….

What if they asked if they could tear down your house and promise to rebuild a brand new one ! For Free!!!

I can’t speak for Anyone else, but I would run, jump ,skip, and hop to the opportunity.

See, we know our homes better than anyone. We see the things we need to fix everyday, but the task seems so daunting. Don’t get me wrong , I love a good DIY ! I love a good renovation show ;however, I lack the skill to know how . So for a builder to come in and offer to tear it down ,then completely rebuild it, would have me running straight across town to purchase a sledgehammer and start DEMO Day. ( as Chip Gaines would say.)

Well… you would think so … right ?

In the process of tearing down the home, memories start to flood your mind . You start doubting how can all of this be torn down and built into something brand new. .

What if I don’t know what I want the new one to look like ?

What if In the process of tearing down my home I harm other homes around me ?

What if I don’t know how to live in a home that is brand new , what if I don’t like change and even though this home is hurting me and my family it’s all I have known.

Change is scary ! What if this new house can’t be built ?

What if I don’t know how to live in a new house ?

What if the debris hits an innocent bystander ?

I am scared to have a brand new home , I will feel like I can’t touch anything or that every mistake is magnified, because now everything is new.

But you see my old house already does that. When the wind blows shingles blow off and hits my neighbors . When the rain comes it leaks through the roof and onto my family.

When the cold comes warmth escapes through the huge cracks in the foundation.

What do I have to lose? A broken, leaky, house on a foundation is bound to collapse …. What do I have to lose? The constant reminder everyday that this and that needs to be fixed . What do I have to lose ? A hefty debt that I will no longer owe because I am offered this gift completely free .

With this arrangement I will no longer be paying for the old house and it’s problems to be fixed . I will remember the old house and what problems needed to be fixed but I am no longer living there.

Of course the new house will have things broken and torn along the way , but now you no longer have to worry because the builder also comes with 100% free maintenance . Here’s the catch out of all this .

All you have to do is ASK !

But In order to ask you must believe , because why ask for something you don’t believe will happen ?

See with God we are promised that if we die to our old selves, let our old houses tear down ,He will build us a new home . We don’t need to know what it will look like, or even the interior .. leave that up to him ( the builder) . Not only will He build a strong foundation , fill it with beautiful things, but as the inside and the framing is being done , you will see the outside start coming together . You also do not need to worry because if someone messes up your house or you mess up your house you have 24 hour maintenance .

Our job is not to build, fix , or even inspect the home . Our job is to ask for the inspection,Acknowledge the repairs, then ask for the builder to come repair them ! We must believe he will come, even if we made the damage and choose to follow the plan perfectly paved for us. This is so important because we don’t know the plans the builder has , so how will we know where to start ?

Then we continue to read the manual and ask for an explanation of the instructions to avoid these damages in the future .

Most importantly. We must not let the house start looking like your old house . Because of a lack of maintenance and because you feel like you have too many repairs too frequently . God is the maintenance man and the builder ! His warranty has only one catch ! You must ask and believe he can do it and take the steps to avoid damage. His maintenance is available at all times and there is no limit to how many times he will come repair the damage!

My friends , don’t be afraid of leaving the old home ( your old self) that caused you hurt , pain , instability, and a foundation that was one storm away from collapsing .

I understand being excited about your future with God , but also not knowing how to accept a gift freely. I understand being weighed down by all the building and repairs being done , that you want to end the deal and just stay in the comfort of your broken home.

You see , I have been riddled with anxiety, fear, and depression from a very young age. It wasn’t until I met the lord that I realized I am not really sure I ever really had peace. When I received peace , it was foreign and honestly I was a bit apprehensive . For anyone who meets Jesus after only knowing being sick , really understands that , yeh, health sounds amazing … but do I even want to be healthy? How scary is it that I have managed my sickness all these years by helping others to feel alive and dosing myself with half of the medication Jesus offers .

Like half sick 😩 ….

There is a story in the Bible about a man who was unable to walk for 38 years and Jesus asked if he wanted to get well ! When I heard the story , I did NOT think .. wow , why did God have to ask him if he wants to be well ?

No, I sat there bawling my eyes out because I truly believe God was asking me the same. I understood why the man had to be asked .

Of course I want peace , of course I want healing . But , I have never had it before …. I’m not sure I can live without anxiety and depression it became my identity since I was a child . I don’t even know what it feels like . Peace used to be a scary word , because then comes destruction.

But oh let me tell you, there is life after anxiety and depression. It tries to creep it’s head but is no longer my identity. This is why .

See Jesus is one of those top notch builders . He not only builds the home , he is also there giving you strength and slowly revealing to you progress. Along the way, others who have had him come and remodel their homes,brings words of affirmation to assure you that you are in good hands . Your community reminds you to keep a good line of communication at all times with the builder , because I mean …. This is a God size job after all.

Today my friends God is asking , do you want to be healed ?

God is asking , are you willing to let that house come down and allow him to rebuild it this time?

Are you half sick like I was so many years , not ready to go all in and let the lord transform from the inside out.

For me, I first had to read some reviews. I needed to know others experience . I needed to know what this builder could do. That’s why it so important to share your testimony.

When you are ready to seal the deal.The first step is believing . John 3:16! Then Get to know him and trust him. Daily call the builder and let him inspect and handle all the repairs needed and thank him for a job well done. Read the instruction book daily in order to get to know your new home and the one who built it. Remember, Reading this contract and knowing exactly what is being offered also reminds you of what you are promised.

The good news…

The terms of agreement is infinite so no need to worry about renewing your contract ❤️.

Hebrews 3:4 For every house is built by someone, but God is the builder of everything.

Rebuilder by Carrolton Band
Family DIY project 2019