Steps, steps, steps

Hours before heading to Mesa Verde Cave dwellings , I was watching a video with our kids about the history of Colorado. The video gave in- depth information and instantly drew us to another video about the cave dwellings specifically . We decided to watch a guided tour as we were teeming with excitement for this newest and most anticipated adventure .

As we embarked on this video , I instantly realized what I expected, wasn’t reality . This wasn’t a nice safe walk and boom beautiful cave dwellings . This most photographed portion of the destination, the absolute cherry on top photograph in my mind ,involved climbing a ladder , did I mention cliff ? My heart began palpitating , I had visions of my children falling down and me missing a step causing a crowd of others getting hurt because I slipped . My palms started sweating and I began to unintentionally hold my breath. My kids could see my face and said what’s wrong ? I quickly changed my face to a smile and said “oh nothing , just watching the video.”

They said “ oh my gosh mom isn’t this going to be amazing “ I thought to myself “ no, it’s absolutely terrifying and I can’t breathe “ but I responded with “ absolutely” . Of course giving my children anxiety about it , wasn’t the wisest choice so I chose excitement .

As we continued watching the video the tour guide said , the only advice I can give you is “ don’t look up and don’t look down , focus on the steps you are on .” The crowd laughed and one lady replied “ well of course , if you look down you see how far you can fall, and if you look up you get anxious about how much higher you have to climb .”

You would think that’s when the revelation hit , but nope , my anxiety heightened and I realized that they too understood the fearfulness of climbing the ladder and needed to lighten the mood . The kids looked at me after the conversation ended between the people and they too looked at me like “ uh mom, are you going to let us do this ?” Mom wouldn’t let us do this if it wasn’t safe or we could get hurt,” replied Nathan .

I paused and said “honestly kids , everything we do involves risk. Getting in a car, walking on the street or even eating food . But we do it , because there is no enjoyment in life if you constantly think of the what if . Some risk takes little to no courage and some take lots of courage and then some takes courage that we absolutely can not formulate on our own without God .”

As I was speaking I was navigating to the cave dwellings website , still sweating with this undeniable pressure in my chest . I was locating ticket prices and age limits for everyone and an alert popped up. It said the treehouse version of the cave dwellings , the part of the attraction we all anticipated and longed for was closed for a need for structural inspection. I honestly had the biggest ,I mean biggest weight off my shoulders .

There would be no climbing the ladder .

The kids were a bit disappointed that we got rerouted again, but we ended up finding the coolest campground after and decided to stay 2 nights , which we never do . I truly believe the kids had more fun here then they would have on the big scary ladder .

Fast forward to being back on the road after a heated debate with my husband and as we both sat in silence . Then the actual revelation hit …..

“Steps , steps, steps .” That’s all I kept saying to my husband or anyone I meet , which I know gets annoying . But honestly that’s how I feel the Holy Spirit speak to me about my life . The lord knows my anxious thoughts and calms them with an assurance that each step has already been made , I just need to listen closely even when it doesn’t make sense and ultimately it will lead exactly where I am meant to be .

That’s when the remark of the tour guide in the video actually resonated with me . Now as my mind was focused on gaining strength and some sort of peace after being completely agitated , it all started coming in.

You see when I was anxious and not capturing my thoughts , I was unable to receive revelation. I was so focused on the fear .

You see , there are steps to every thing in life . Whether Worldly order or kingdom order . I have a choice. Should I listen to the gentle whisper that leads to life and fruit or listen to the world and lead to exhaustion and self promoting gain and pride .

Both choices have steps . The world’s steps are usually ones you see , the ones that always makes sense , a+b=c , ones you can explain the outcome . Kingdom steps usually take faith which means you do not see at first , ones that sometimes make no sense , and 1+ God = exceedingly abundantly more than you could have ever done on your own .

The key to your ultimate destination is simply what the man in the video said . Do not look up and do not look down , focus on the step you are on .

When you are climbing steps and are struggling to gain footing on one , do you immediately try to grasp above even though you aren’t firmly settled on the step you are on ? Listen , I wish I could say I’m not that stubborn , but I have tried this and yeh , moving forward when you aren’t firmly rooted or have learned the lesson of that step ,results in pain , being overworked unnecessarily or falling straight on your butt .

Today I’m not physically able to see my promise , today I am still wobbling on the current step but still believing , and today I am accepting and surrendering to the process that this step entails for my good . I am focusing on the current step that God has me on , without looking up the ladder with anxiety with how far I have to go , or looking down ( or back) with how far I could fall.

All my steps are placed , all your steps are placed . God is for you . The steps are perfectly laid out for you and your destiny . Do not be anxious . This is for his glory .His goodness and mercy follow you , so stand firm , keep listening , keep seeking , keep asking ….. what you seek you will find . What God has for you , is for you … God doesn’t run out of his goodness , God doesn’t forget , God is patient .

This is kingdom business , his ways are not ours, so rest easy …. Everything God has promised already exists , so let’s believe 🙂 ❤️

He is an exceedingly abundantly type of Daddy. He won’t settle for what we want , he goes above and beyond anything we can imagine .

0% chance

Yesterday was a cool and windy day. We saw a bit of snow flurries and was of course excited! (even though it was a small deal to people around here who are used to it, it was a big deal to us ) But here’s the thing .

Every news station station forecasted a 0%chance of snow . It wasn’t a 20% or 30% chance . It was flat out 0%. When I see that number , it means absolutely no chance . Literally NO chance . No expectation! So even flurries is more than 0% chance . Right ?

Ok, I think I got that point across . So now …

Fast forward to later that night. I was on the phone with my parents , laying on the couch with my husband and our youngest child , when suddenly I heard this loud wind ! 💨 Not only did I hear this wind , it also pierced through the drafty window sending a chill down my leg . I thought to myself , oh it’s been windy all day , just more of the same. You know , be “logical”, even though deep deep down I am like , what if it’s snow? Well, A few seconds later I heard small pitter patter on the window . Then I thought ,oh my gosh maybe it IS snow foreal! Then I said to myself no, it’s just leaves and continued on with the conversation with my parents on the phone.

After all 0% means no chance.

Well , then again I felt another blast of air and said , hold on let me check outside . I finally decided to look out the window . My eyes got wide and jaw dropped ! IT’S SNOWING ! It’s SNOWING ! It wasn’t only snowing , It was FIERCELY snowing and accumulating .

I immediately said mom and dad , it’s snowing! You know since they didn’t hear me scream it already .I honestly forgot the conversation we were having and looked over to my husband said “Michael ! look it’s snowing .”

Unfortunately for them .It didn’t stop there .

I opened the blinds and kept telling michael “look , look! ” I then told my parents that I was switching to video chat, so they could see why I was so excited. Oh the snow fell so beautifully as if it were dancing around like glitter in front of the porch light . It caught my full attention.

You see , Everything I was distracted by, was put on hold , I was in such awe ( I love snow) and I kept saying “look look look ! “

That’s when the revelation hit ….

I thought of how many times in my life have I hoped for something , prayed for something , and constantly watched for it, only to become logical by the fear of sounding ridiculous. How many times have I been so hopeful only to be told there is NO chance ? How many times have I missed the signs of favorable conditions and the beautiful reminders of what was promised to me ( like those beautiful flurries throughout the day), only to be distracted by something else going on .How many times did I lose excitement and hope because people around me wasn’t excited.

Honestly too many times to count .

Today I was reminded …How this world judges whether or not something is possible , is by things we can see . Today I was reminded… that being told that I am not the right fit by the world’s standards , doesn’t mean that I am not the perfect fit for God’s assignment.

To the world the wayward son or daughter has a 0% chance of being trusted or used in this society.

To the world , the stay at home mom doesn’t have enough connections or intellect to think for herself or let alone be something bigger than herself.

To the world, a man who has consistently made poor decisions , will never be respectable or trustworthy .

To the world , the homeless drug addict , will never be anything more than one step away from a relapse .

To the world, the color of your skin ,has some sort of measurement of how trustworthy or capable you are .

To the world , the church member who doesn’t know the lingo , who doesn’t have a clique or family ties , will never make it anywhere in the church ministry.

Oh but God has shown time and time again, he doesn’t choose by world’s standards or opinions . He takes the world’s 0% chances and turns them into a mighty wind , a storm that rushes in and grabs the attention of everyone who didn’t believe.

It’s isn’t about what is forecasted by worldly gauges or assessments . It is about the unseen favorable conditions, and it has nothing to do with the outside , it is about what only He sees on the inside .

I heard recently , that no one understands what is happening when it’s happening.

I don’t understand everything right now, I don’t know how everything will turn out , but I do know this . My 0% chance and your 0% chance ,with Christ, has endless possibility .

Don’t give up hope , don’t miss out on the tiny reminders , don’t let distractions and blinders keep you from seeing everything you prayed for and everything God has called you to do unfolding right before your eyes .

This is the season of putting away your distractions, the world’s expectations, and faulty gauges. This is the season where your strongholds become weak ! This is the season of things happening that YOU don’t even see happening. This is the season that you finally stop doubting in this area and you will peek out of those blinds and see this mighty storm bringing what you believed could be true . Oh this season you will be in awe , you will shout look , look, look … look what the lord has done !

This season I have decided ….

I won’t take my chances , I’ll take my promise!

“Rebuilder”… I am willing to be well.

If someone asked if they could tear down your house right now , would you let them ? No! right ?


But ….


What if they asked if they could tear down your house and promise to rebuild a brand new one ! For Free!!!

I can’t speak for Anyone else, but I would run, jump ,skip, and hop to the opportunity.

See, we know our homes better than anyone. We see the things we need to fix everyday, but the task seems so daunting. Don’t get me wrong , I love a good DIY ! I love a good renovation show ;however, I lack the skill to know how . So for a builder to come in and offer to tear it down ,then completely rebuild it, would have me running straight across town to purchase a sledgehammer and start DEMO Day. ( as Chip Gaines would say.)

Well… you would think so … right ?

In the process of tearing down the home, memories start to flood your mind . You start doubting how can all of this be torn down and built into something brand new. .

What if I don’t know what I want the new one to look like ?

What if In the process of tearing down my home I harm other homes around me ?

What if I don’t know how to live in a home that is brand new , what if I don’t like change and even though this home is hurting me and my family it’s all I have known.

Change is scary ! What if this new house can’t be built ?

What if I don’t know how to live in a new house ?

What if the debris hits an innocent bystander ?

I am scared to have a brand new home , I will feel like I can’t touch anything or that every mistake is magnified, because now everything is new.

But you see my old house already does that. When the wind blows shingles blow off and hits my neighbors . When the rain comes it leaks through the roof and onto my family.

When the cold comes warmth escapes through the huge cracks in the foundation.

What do I have to lose? A broken, leaky, house on a foundation is bound to collapse …. What do I have to lose? The constant reminder everyday that this and that needs to be fixed . What do I have to lose ? A hefty debt that I will no longer owe because I am offered this gift completely free .

With this arrangement I will no longer be paying for the old house and it’s problems to be fixed . I will remember the old house and what problems needed to be fixed but I am no longer living there.

Of course the new house will have things broken and torn along the way , but now you no longer have to worry because the builder also comes with 100% free maintenance . Here’s the catch out of all this .

All you have to do is ASK !

But In order to ask you must believe , because why ask for something you don’t believe will happen ?

See with God we are promised that if we die to our old selves, let our old houses tear down ,He will build us a new home . We don’t need to know what it will look like, or even the interior .. leave that up to him ( the builder) . Not only will He build a strong foundation , fill it with beautiful things, but as the inside and the framing is being done , you will see the outside start coming together . You also do not need to worry because if someone messes up your house or you mess up your house you have 24 hour maintenance .

Our job is not to build, fix , or even inspect the home . Our job is to ask for the inspection,Acknowledge the repairs, then ask for the builder to come repair them ! We must believe he will come, even if we made the damage and choose to follow the plan perfectly paved for us. This is so important because we don’t know the plans the builder has , so how will we know where to start ?

Then we continue to read the manual and ask for an explanation of the instructions to avoid these damages in the future .

Most importantly. We must not let the house start looking like your old house . Because of a lack of maintenance and because you feel like you have too many repairs too frequently . God is the maintenance man and the builder ! His warranty has only one catch ! You must ask and believe he can do it and take the steps to avoid damage. His maintenance is available at all times and there is no limit to how many times he will come repair the damage!

My friends , don’t be afraid of leaving the old home ( your old self) that caused you hurt , pain , instability, and a foundation that was one storm away from collapsing .

I understand being excited about your future with God , but also not knowing how to accept a gift freely. I understand being weighed down by all the building and repairs being done , that you want to end the deal and just stay in the comfort of your broken home.

You see , I have been riddled with anxiety, fear, and depression from a very young age. It wasn’t until I met the lord that I realized I am not really sure I ever really had peace. When I received peace , it was foreign and honestly I was a bit apprehensive . For anyone who meets Jesus after only knowing being sick , really understands that , yeh, health sounds amazing … but do I even want to be healthy? How scary is it that I have managed my sickness all these years by helping others to feel alive and dosing myself with half of the medication Jesus offers .

Like half sick 😩 ….

There is a story in the Bible about a man who was unable to walk for 38 years and Jesus asked if he wanted to get well ! When I heard the story , I did NOT think .. wow , why did God have to ask him if he wants to be well ?

No, I sat there bawling my eyes out because I truly believe God was asking me the same. I understood why the man had to be asked .

Of course I want peace , of course I want healing . But , I have never had it before …. I’m not sure I can live without anxiety and depression it became my identity since I was a child . I don’t even know what it feels like . Peace used to be a scary word , because then comes destruction.

But oh let me tell you, there is life after anxiety and depression. It tries to creep it’s head but is no longer my identity. This is why .

See Jesus is one of those top notch builders . He not only builds the home , he is also there giving you strength and slowly revealing to you progress. Along the way, others who have had him come and remodel their homes,brings words of affirmation to assure you that you are in good hands . Your community reminds you to keep a good line of communication at all times with the builder , because I mean …. This is a God size job after all.

Today my friends God is asking , do you want to be healed ?

God is asking , are you willing to let that house come down and allow him to rebuild it this time?

Are you half sick like I was so many years , not ready to go all in and let the lord transform from the inside out.

For me, I first had to read some reviews. I needed to know others experience . I needed to know what this builder could do. That’s why it so important to share your testimony.

When you are ready to seal the deal.The first step is believing . John 3:16! Then Get to know him and trust him. Daily call the builder and let him inspect and handle all the repairs needed and thank him for a job well done. Read the instruction book daily in order to get to know your new home and the one who built it. Remember, Reading this contract and knowing exactly what is being offered also reminds you of what you are promised.

The good news…

The terms of agreement is infinite so no need to worry about renewing your contract ❤️.

Hebrews 3:4 For every house is built by someone, but God is the builder of everything.

Rebuilder by Carrolton Band
Family DIY project 2019