Steps, steps, steps

Hours before heading to Mesa Verde Cave dwellings , I was watching a video with our kids about the history of Colorado. The video gave in- depth information and instantly drew us to another video about the cave dwellings specifically . We decided to watch a guided tour as we were teeming with excitement for this newest and most anticipated adventure .

As we embarked on this video , I instantly realized what I expected, wasn’t reality . This wasn’t a nice safe walk and boom beautiful cave dwellings . This most photographed portion of the destination, the absolute cherry on top photograph in my mind ,involved climbing a ladder , did I mention cliff ? My heart began palpitating , I had visions of my children falling down and me missing a step causing a crowd of others getting hurt because I slipped . My palms started sweating and I began to unintentionally hold my breath. My kids could see my face and said what’s wrong ? I quickly changed my face to a smile and said “oh nothing , just watching the video.”

They said “ oh my gosh mom isn’t this going to be amazing “ I thought to myself “ no, it’s absolutely terrifying and I can’t breathe “ but I responded with “ absolutely” . Of course giving my children anxiety about it , wasn’t the wisest choice so I chose excitement .

As we continued watching the video the tour guide said , the only advice I can give you is “ don’t look up and don’t look down , focus on the steps you are on .” The crowd laughed and one lady replied “ well of course , if you look down you see how far you can fall, and if you look up you get anxious about how much higher you have to climb .”

You would think that’s when the revelation hit , but nope , my anxiety heightened and I realized that they too understood the fearfulness of climbing the ladder and needed to lighten the mood . The kids looked at me after the conversation ended between the people and they too looked at me like “ uh mom, are you going to let us do this ?” Mom wouldn’t let us do this if it wasn’t safe or we could get hurt,” replied Nathan .

I paused and said “honestly kids , everything we do involves risk. Getting in a car, walking on the street or even eating food . But we do it , because there is no enjoyment in life if you constantly think of the what if . Some risk takes little to no courage and some take lots of courage and then some takes courage that we absolutely can not formulate on our own without God .”

As I was speaking I was navigating to the cave dwellings website , still sweating with this undeniable pressure in my chest . I was locating ticket prices and age limits for everyone and an alert popped up. It said the treehouse version of the cave dwellings , the part of the attraction we all anticipated and longed for was closed for a need for structural inspection. I honestly had the biggest ,I mean biggest weight off my shoulders .

There would be no climbing the ladder .

The kids were a bit disappointed that we got rerouted again, but we ended up finding the coolest campground after and decided to stay 2 nights , which we never do . I truly believe the kids had more fun here then they would have on the big scary ladder .

Fast forward to being back on the road after a heated debate with my husband and as we both sat in silence . Then the actual revelation hit …..

“Steps , steps, steps .” That’s all I kept saying to my husband or anyone I meet , which I know gets annoying . But honestly that’s how I feel the Holy Spirit speak to me about my life . The lord knows my anxious thoughts and calms them with an assurance that each step has already been made , I just need to listen closely even when it doesn’t make sense and ultimately it will lead exactly where I am meant to be .

That’s when the remark of the tour guide in the video actually resonated with me . Now as my mind was focused on gaining strength and some sort of peace after being completely agitated , it all started coming in.

You see when I was anxious and not capturing my thoughts , I was unable to receive revelation. I was so focused on the fear .

You see , there are steps to every thing in life . Whether Worldly order or kingdom order . I have a choice. Should I listen to the gentle whisper that leads to life and fruit or listen to the world and lead to exhaustion and self promoting gain and pride .

Both choices have steps . The world’s steps are usually ones you see , the ones that always makes sense , a+b=c , ones you can explain the outcome . Kingdom steps usually take faith which means you do not see at first , ones that sometimes make no sense , and 1+ God = exceedingly abundantly more than you could have ever done on your own .

The key to your ultimate destination is simply what the man in the video said . Do not look up and do not look down , focus on the step you are on .

When you are climbing steps and are struggling to gain footing on one , do you immediately try to grasp above even though you aren’t firmly settled on the step you are on ? Listen , I wish I could say I’m not that stubborn , but I have tried this and yeh , moving forward when you aren’t firmly rooted or have learned the lesson of that step ,results in pain , being overworked unnecessarily or falling straight on your butt .

Today I’m not physically able to see my promise , today I am still wobbling on the current step but still believing , and today I am accepting and surrendering to the process that this step entails for my good . I am focusing on the current step that God has me on , without looking up the ladder with anxiety with how far I have to go , or looking down ( or back) with how far I could fall.

All my steps are placed , all your steps are placed . God is for you . The steps are perfectly laid out for you and your destiny . Do not be anxious . This is for his glory .His goodness and mercy follow you , so stand firm , keep listening , keep seeking , keep asking ….. what you seek you will find . What God has for you , is for you … God doesn’t run out of his goodness , God doesn’t forget , God is patient .

This is kingdom business , his ways are not ours, so rest easy …. Everything God has promised already exists , so let’s believe 🙂 ❤️

He is an exceedingly abundantly type of Daddy. He won’t settle for what we want , he goes above and beyond anything we can imagine .

Like a child

“Truly I say to you, unless you will be converted and become like children, you will not enter the Kingdom of Heaven.” Matthew 18:3

You know the days where your kids have seemingly lost their minds and you question your sanity ? You know on those days that one child in particular will try you over and over and just forget all the rules . Well this was the exact scenario a few days ago with my second to youngest daughter Jayden.

If anyone knows Jayden , you know she is my free spirited , soft hearted, and super hilarious child . I am pretty sure broadway or some sort of acting is in her future ok. She is our child that we are able to look at in a certain way and she will stop doing whatever it is that is wrong . But this day in particular just wasn’t happening .

So of course , I lose it . I “tried” to be calm , I “tried” to let it not build up . But yeh, I failed .Honestly ,what she was doing wasn’t horrific, it was just all throughout the day little things that were clearly defiant and just aggravating ( for lack of better words).Of course I let guilt set in and I came to her and assured her that getting correction was not wrong; however , the way I corrected was.

I probably looked like a toddler throwing a tantrum honestly haha ( it’s funny now, but I felt horrible). So we had our talk and everything calmed down probably because we assured each other that everything was settled.

I know it sounds bad , but I was like , yeh I feel bad how I reacted , but at least now she’s listening ( don’t hate me , I am human too) . As soon as that thought crossed my mind , Jayden asked me “ mom, can I have some ice cream and then go to the trail to ride scooters. “

If y’all could see my face . I thought to myself , (this is going to sound bad) , but I thought …. “did she really just ask for dessert annnnnd going to a trail to ride her scooter when we finally just had some peace between each other . “ Thank God I kept that thought to myself , even though my face may have talked for me . If I would have spoken too quickly I would have missed what the Holy Spirit was showing me in that moment .

You see , even though we said sorry and made things right and I DID forgive her , I was still shocked that she just so openly asked for not one but two things. It was already getting late , I’m already exhausted and it was getting to the point of settling down , I mean completely inopportune timing . I didn’t even have time to really just come to terms with my own attitude and forgive myself fully and apparently not fully forgetting what she had done ( I’m not God).

Heck, I was still analyzing what part of her childhood memories I messed up or the guilt of possibly breaking her spirit haha. ( only funny now).

How could my child even feel comfortable coming to me after a day full of agitation.

That’s when the revelation hit .

Many times in life I would hide my needs , wants, desires, even failures from God because let’s face it , I wasn’t where I thought I should be . People would say , “ come as you are” and when I did I was the object of judgement and gossip. Like, listen I didn’t choose my superpower at the time to be crazy, depressed, and needy ok. I brought my demons and the people fled . So , I thought if church people who aren’t perfect like God are ashamed of me , how much more will My perfect Father be .

Ouch , yeh I was super wrong and my belief system was influenced by a lot of outward and religious spirits ( including me , so cringe).

What the Holy Spirit was showing me through Jayden was boldness , faith in her mother’s love and ability to meet her demands despite her outward actions . You see , God doesn’t want us to come boldly to the throne room of Grace because we are perfect and never mess up on our own . He wants for us to come boldly and have confidence in his grace and in his position as our Abba ( daddy) in heaven , so that he can meet the needs. We come boldly because he is well pleased with Jesus and he sees Jesus , so whew. Whether it be healing, financial, spiritual, unanswered questions , behavior, whatever it is we need to come boldly.

See unlike God I have limitations in my flesh , I am unable to forget when my daughter just sinned so sometimes it lingers , Even though I want to give her all she asks , sometimes that something extra is conditional.

With God we are saved by grace , nothing we did, it is a gift. He is not shocked or surprised when we come to him after acting foolish , asking bold requests . He is constant in our relationship, he is forgiving , he wipes the slate clean constantly . You see he isn’t limited in his sight by our flesh , because it’s been covered in Jesus blood . He sees Jesus .

So rest easy friends and go boldly to the throne room of grace fully forgiven asking and making requests know to our Father.

He isn’t going to look at you like I did my daughter shocked at how could so many requests be made after a day of aggravation. No, he is pleased that we trust and believe that he made a way for us to be this close. The good news is we don’t have to be disntant from God’s power like before Jesus sacrificed his life and torn the veil. Now we are seated near at his right hand basking in his presence , not hindered by our behavior . We are only hindered by our unbelief of Jesus sacrifice and unbelief of who we are in Him.

I pray today that you come boldly to our Father and make all requests known, tell him where you are lacking in any area. Draw closer to Him and bask in his presence . Pray for the Holy Spirit to lead you to the throne room of grace and his powerful presence . Then you will see that despite your behavior or outward issues , your Daddy is waiting for you to come to him so he can show you a way out .

I pray that you no longer depend on your own ability to be righteous or holy but, Jesus’ ability to be righteous and Holy. I pray that you see yourself the way God does and when you accept that love , you will start seeing others in that way as well. In Jesus name , amen

Will we have weak days , will we have days where we don’t “feel” spiritual … yes, but even though we are not constant , God is . His promises are yes and amen, unconditionally and with all sincerity .

There is not a better confidant, friend,and helper than the spirit of God . Only he can give perfect direction and action plans . So come boldly brothers and sisters, he’s waiting with excitement .

So lord , I choose to come To you as my child comes to me . Boldly and knowing that she is forgiven. Knowing I want what is best for her and want to see her succeed . Knowing I want to help her solve her issues . Knowing I want to see her well and pursuing the purpose she was made for . Knowing despite her mistakes I will help every way I can.

Remember ….

We are not Perfect alone, so let’s rest and rely on the ONE who is . God ❤️ …People , even me , can’t give you perfect relationship. Only HIM .

Blessings and favor over each of you amen !

This is for you too …

So I felt led to a different kind of post today… so I pray the Holy spirit opens your minds and reveals to you truth that points straight to how amazing and wonderful Jesus is.

When you fall from Grace , you are no longer believing that you are saved by faith through Jesus, But of yourselves. You condemn yourself . You put heavy burdens, loads, and morality on yourself. When in reality, our might and strength will never be enough.

See Jesus.. “Yeshua” literally means Salvation. So when we are putting on the mind of Christ we are putting on the helmet of Yeshua . Let’s now see why this is soooooo important to get to first, when we come to know the Lord. When a Roman soldier puts on armor they use a helmet to protect their brain. According to the , “The brain is an amazing three-pound organ that controls all functions of the body, interprets information from the outside world, and embodies the essence of the mind and soul. … The brain controls our thoughts, memory and speech, movement of the arms and legs, and the function of many organs within our body.” ( More in depth writing is coming on this later on, I am just skimming the surface on this revelation the Holy spirit gave to me) So Family, the helmet of salvation in the armor of God is literally the helmet of Yeshua. All these functions are so , so important to our daily lives and destiny. It effects how we pray, what we pray , how we approach God, who we believe God to be… I mean. I could go on and on. But that’s on another blog. Now you see why this is so important?

You know when you start studying the Word of God with your mind of Christ on , oh how the story changes. You are no longer scared to read the bible or just waiting for more Do’s and don’ts. It’s no longer a book where you go see what others are doing wrong or how self righteous you are.Oh no, it becomes one of the greatest mysteries revealed to you in such an amazing way because you are being led by the spirit. You aren’t reading a story that the wisest or most knowledgeable could ever truly understand on their own , it’s like your own secret message leading to the Treasures of heaven . It is not understood with human intellect but meticulously revealed in many different ways in many different seasons . IT is discerned with a spirit that puts even the first the same as the last, the rich and the poor and even the slowest of learners and fastest of learners on the same playing field. You feel like you are going down a never ending hunt sometimes, but a life changing one. You get one train of thought and it leads to another and it becomes an all out investigation . You know one of those investigations you do after watching a court case and just need evidence for some sort of closure. You know that evidence you look for when you search your whole heart mind and strength until late hours of the night clicking article after article. Just to know the truth .  The cool thing about Having the Holy spirit as a friend and God as a good good father who can never lie, you will always, I mean always find what you are seeking at the right time . You are not left confused and dissatisfied, its always a search that ends in peace or action for the next step. It’s like endless awe and wonder. Now there is times, where you feel kind of bored and think, ummm I know this scripture. Only for a revelation of the meaning to truly hit a week later, who knows, maybe while vacuuming the floor.

I wanted to share this because as I reveal what is  revealed to me through revelation , I want you to realize that I am a homemaker who is beloved by God not through my actions but because of Jesus’ finished work on the cross. I mean I am pretty low on the social totem poll to the world , lets face it, haha . I mean , but really guys a homemaker given wisdom supernaturally used by a powerful God that doesn’t need me, but chooses to use me , to spread the Good Good news. So it’s not of myself or human wisdom. I just want to see lives transformed and people complete in Him. I just want everything that comes out of my mouth or typed through my fingers on a keyboard to point to Jesus. I honestly go back and read what is written and I am like, who wrote that? I can’t humanly explain how I come to these conclusions or revelations on my own, because I don’t. It is always a scripture or bible story that didn’t make sense at the time and BAM it hits. Sometimes it’s just deeper meaning to something I didn’t previously know fully. Not anything biblically new , but like in depth truth of God’s written word, that’s new to me. My prayer is that through sharing my revelations, it will spark your spirit to seek revelation for yourselves as well. It is the most satisfying and awe inspiring experience. To know that God will use all means to help me understand, and to reveal truths to me that I need, exactly when I need it, mostly through my children.

The only thing I can give advice about when it comes to revelations is truly just taking a moment to be a fly on the wall so to speak throughout your day. To be present but yet taken back and just observe. Oh, just take a moment from the chaos and distraction and just look and see what can only be seen , when you truly look. To pray and ask for revelation is a huge part for sure also. Sometimes, The silly smiles of my children, the tiny mannerisms , and even just the conversation that they have with each other reveals God’s truths. Sometimes it’s a wake up call when I hear my children being unkind to each other. Especially when I hear things I know is me or my husband. I used to get so down and condemn myself, but now I just say Holy spirit lead me to a better way. As you lead me , they will follow. The pressure of trying to figure it all out isn’t on me alone, I can make the choices but only through knowing I am loved, can I choose a more loving approach. Knowing you are loved eases anxieties and it results in less agitation. Our Abba wants us to succeed in our marriages, in our parenting, and all relationships that we are meant to be a part of. Sweet friend, grace is there to take the burden off you , you can get up again , you can try again, you can keep moving forward without condemnation. You can come boldy come to the Father asking all sorts of questions and even talking about things you struggle with , and asking advice.

Yeh you may need to ask your kids for forgiveness or your spouse, but you can’t expect to learn without mistakes. But the Good news is , your mistakes don’t stack against you , it’s an endless washing of the blood of the lamb over you every single day. Rest easy do not be overcome with anxiety and thoughts of your mistakes, you are loved , you are holy , you are righteous and you are moving forward. Do not give up.

When we Are saved we are legit going through a brain transplant. Putting away the former things, like literally born again. If you are a newborn you do not have memories, so literally we must do away with all past things ,a new slate. Allow the Holy Spirit to fill your mind with the thoughts of Jesus. Those thoughts about whatever is kind what ever is good, How faithful our heavenly father is, being kingdom minded and knowing we are righteous as he is righteous because of the finished work of the cross. Then keeping our eyes on Jesus and being in awe will result in changed behavior supernaturally. Do we make a choice , yes.. However, when we keep our eyes on Jesus , we walk in the spirit and love, then every other commandment is fulfilled. Like, Literally our Father set us up to succeed. We just have to put away our fleshly desire to have our hand in places that aren’t ours to mess with so we can take some sort of credit. We must walk by faith. Remind yourself, we are without spot or blemish in the eyes of the father. Yes, the world and even you remember when you messed up before and when you presently mess up . But rest easy, God does not. Have you ever found yourself digging a deeper hole of sin and depression when you constantly think about what you do wrong and that you can never do right.

Try this, know that you are so loved by God , ask him yourself to reveal to you how much you are loved. Open your bible through the eyes of grace and let the forgiveness and love pour all over you. Watch sin and addiction break off your life, Be free child of God ! Do not be bonded by the yolk of slavery. We are now sons and daughters to the most high God.

I am reminded of the Prodigal son, I ask that you take a moment to read Luke 15:11–32 and ask the Holy spirit to reveal to you what is true about how Our daddy delights in us when we come back to him.

Then as you are reminded who you are in Christ, keep asking questions , keep seeking , I promise no other relationship in your life will compare. Don’t get me wrong I love my family , ya’ll know this, but there isn’t a person or thing on this earth that can ever sustain or fulfill the deep places like Jesus. This is not of myself or that I am just this super wise or bold person on my own. Any courage or wisdom, or knowledge of the spirit is a gift from the spirit. So yeh, No boasting , no accolade or achievement on my part. My need for something real , whether that makes me weak or not, was more important than staying empty. I heard someone say, oh christians just are too weak to handle this world, so they need a God to lean on. Well, guilty, I am weak , but he is strong. I can’t do this life or even one ounce of my past without the saving grace , acceptance and Love of the Father. I am not ashamed that I need Jesus to walk in this life and neither should you.

I pray for bondage to be broken , anyone held back from their destiny to start seeking who they are in Christ, I pray for those who are feeling the heaviness of this life to be renewed in Jesus name. I pray for children of God to use your helper the holy spirit, to let him lead you . If Jesus could trust the Holy spirit to raise him from the dead, I can trust him too. I love ya’ll ! My heart just wants for you all to find this freedom , to walk in your spiritual gifts, to walk in health and full abundant life. To seek our Father’s face without being scared or condemned. God loves you so very much. Remember, As Jesus is so are we!

A visual that the Holy spirit showed me a few days ago , really brought peace to my spirit. It was me sitting next to my Abba on the right hand of the throne and anytime evil was coming against me, I rested in Victory with my Father and he sent an angel out without a flinch before it could reach me. I had this assurance that I am so loved, I am protected, I am victorious because of My father. I pray this too helps you see just how close and How intimate of a relationship God wants with you too.

Peace and many blessings! In Jesus Name , amen !